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Why I cut all my hair off - pixie update!

I've been trying to find a way to write this post for the last few weeks, I think I needed some time to reflect properly on how I felt about it and how to put it into words. So here goes.

On the 8th July 2014 I genuinely captioned an instagram post: "I'd be nothing without my hair." Along with this photo:

And I currently look like this:

Yeah. Lol.

I used to be obsessed with my hair, and the thought of cutting it terrified me, it truly was my safety blanket. It took me about a year of contemplation to cut off maybe 5 inches of really horribly damaged and bleached, waist length hair, but within a couple of months, I'd cut off a bit more and then a bit more and a bit more. I was totally hooked. It might sound weird, but each time I cut my hair, it was like I was cutting off the insecure, scared, part of myself. 

My hair now, is a statement. It's a gigantic "f*** you" to societies absolutely retarded and oppressive expectations of me as a female in a sex obsessed and male dominated world.

My whole life, I was insanely insecure, even when I had hundreds of people liking my lookbook or instagram photo's telling me I was beautiful. I only felt pretty when I had make-up on, or when my hair was long and bouncy and covering my face/body. So obviously, when I was bare faced or having a bad hair day, I felt crap. And to be honest, even when I did have all the makeup and hair, I felt crap the majority of the time, because I compared myself to every remotely pretty girl I saw, whether that was in the street, or in the media or wherever.

I was just awful to myself. I put myself down constantly.

So what changed?

Basically, I became vegan and moved into a meditation and yoga house. I started a spiritual and self love journey, I met incredible people that taught me about the universe and my life started to make sense, they helped me understand that I was SO much more than my physical body. (This is the extremely short version of the story btw lol) Basically, I became a giant hippie, a really ridiculously happy, vegan, roller-skating, poetry writing hippie!!

And I have grown in confidence more this year than any other time in my life.

And I still like fashion and makeup and modelling and fitness and I like that I get to choose how to represent myself to the world. I still love dressing up and wearing tons of eyeliner, the difference is that I don't feel happier when I do that, I feel just as great walking into town looking like a bag lady with no makeup on as I do in a kickass outfit... genuinely! It's so freaking liberating!!

My hair represents the new me. The real me at this present moment. I am no longer the generic 'hot girl', the one I spent my whole life trying to be, (but hardly ever felt like) so that I would be accepted and liked.

And I don't care if you hate my short hair. Clearly lol. I don't care one bit.

It's too cold to blog!

It is officially too cold to be outside in anything other than a puffer jacket, hat, scarves and gloves, so I only got these two rubbish shots lol, sorry guys! I'm gunna find somewhere inside to blog, with heating! My house is probably too dark... Anyway! On to the actual clothes! The red cardigan is refreshingly super soft, stretchy and warm and from...

Peg Trousers Style

I decided recently that I wanted another 'look' to add to my repertoire, I generally look like a skater or hippie these days, but never very smart. I don't know, could you call this smart with a leather jacket and pumps? Let me know! I'm not too sure how I feel about these trousers. They look...

Manchester Fashion Blogger

A few more shots from the shoot I did a little while ago :) Skatergirls ftw! <3 This is where I got my trusty R3's and my wheels are Cruise 62mm 78A's, can't remember the bearings, I got them ages ago. I know I haven't blogged in a while, sorry! (I'm pretty active on instagram though @kokoluxe) I've been super busy with my awesome new life in Manchester :D Best place I've ever lived! Got a few things to blog though, so I'll update y'all soon! Thanks for sticking with me lovely people of the interwebs! x

Etched Drinks Personalised Gin

Free gin you say? Well why not :P I was thinking about going to the Yin before Gin class at The Wonder Inn anyway (The most magical place in Manchester!) I love Yin yoga and am partial to a G&T every now and again, so when Etched Drinks got in touch, how could I refuse!...

T-Post Wearable Tshirt

T-post is the world’s first wearable magazine. Basically, it’s a never ending volume, with one story illustrated per T-shirt, or issue as they like to call it. They have subscribers ranging from Jay-Z and Banksy to your average Joe, spread out over 53 countries and have been called ”Awesome” by Time Magazine and ”Reinventing the magazine” By The Wall Street Journal.

I got the XL and cut that shizz up to make a tank top, I also cut out the tag and made it reversible, wearing it inside out and back to front, because the actual article is rad and printed on the inside! It also comes in a wicked A4 cardboard folder with a boy on the front lol x

Zaful Tribal/Aztec Festival Summer Style

How beautiful is this dress, perfect hippie vibes :) And again, I got the dress in a size Large, because Asian sizing... lol. The fabric is soft too. Tom did a great job at capturing me being all floaty and ethereal in a patch of tall grass in a random park in Manchester...

Skater Style

I have wanted to do a shoot in my skates for the longest time, so I finally made it happen with my trusty photographer Tom and I'm so in love with these shots, they pretty much perfectly represent my skater girl side :D I'm hoping to join the Manchester derby team since I can't get to the Cheshire Hellcats anymore, but they only have fresh meat intakes occasionally, so I'm still waitiiiiing...

Superdry Split Maxi Dress

I styled this dress two ways and this is the more elegant of the two, paired down with just a few pieces of jewellery (which I never take off). The dress is by Superdry from House of Fraser and is only £19.99 in the sale. It's knitted, so it's super stretchy and super comfortable, and as the fabric is a bit thicker than normal, it is also quite flattering :) 

Photography: Tomtookthat