I have a sign on my door that reads ‘I trust and I surrender’ as a reminder to myself that even in my darkest moments, everything is going exactly to plan and I am receiving exactly what I need.
This belief system stems from a true moment of clarity I had back in 2016. I had just moved into a huge, dilapidated house with 5 random men, the hallway was full of wood as the kitchen was being ripped out and the walls were literally falling off. The rent was cheap and it claimed to be a spiritual, community based, vegetarian house. I moved in because I had just turned vegan and was in that angry stage of disowning everything and everyone that didn’t understand. I’d also just had one of the worst months of my life living with a boyfriend in Nottingham and had spontaneously paid the deposit after a particularly traumatic fight, so I had no choice but to leave.
In my first week after moving in, I met a monk who was part of the spiritual group that ran the house. He invited me to eat with him and another yogi. I was keen to make friends so I followed them up the winding stairs to the top of the house where they proceeded to sit cross legged on the floor and share food and tea. Over the next three hours, I was captivated, listening about topics ranging from aliens and universal consciousness to how we choose our family before we are born. It blew my mind and I was struck with the overwhelming realisation that I was exactly where I needed to be. This complete stranger seemed to know me and understand my life without me saying a word. That was it. I suddenly looked back at all the painful events in my life and realised that they were all leading me to this exact moment. I welled up from pure joy, everything made sense. Everything! I instantly expelled the victim mentality I’d been carrying, discovered a radical new practise of acceptance, learnt about spirituality and meditation and proceeded to have the best year of my life!
I was reminded of this event today because I’ve just had a similar experience. I’ve been crazy stressed for the last week, after being ceremoniously and cruelly kicked out of my houseshare, over text, by the two girls I live with. And viewing a ton of disgusting houses around Manchester, I was feeling hopeless and lost, catastrophising about having to move back to Devon to live with my parents. But then, at my last viewing of the day yesterday, I found an absolutely massive room, with tall ceilings and bare floorboards (a lot like my dreamboard house actually!) and then when I got home, I got a notification that I’d sold another piece of furniture from my upcycling venture! So not only is my business doing well, but I’ll have tons more space to create, which means I can collect more, paint more and sell more! It was the push I needed. I needed a bigger house. I knew it, the universe knew it, but I wasn’t taking action. The fact I sold something just a few hours after finding such a big beautiful room was just a sign from the universe saying: ‘see Rach, this is why I had to make your life so uncomfortable, so that you had no choice but to change’.
Thanks universe, you got me 😀 Remember, it’s all happening perfectly <3